acceptance

I have finally accepted our ministry.

It only took me 4 months.  My friend, Lauren C, reminded me that God is long suffering, patient, slow to anger, slow to wrath, etc.  I know this myself because I do not feel guilty for just now realizing my place in my home, again.  And I know there are many people who would say, “Well, yeah, I’ve been telling you all along!”, but until the Lord turns my heart and I feel at peace with everything it doesn’t settle within me.  And it’s why I’m able to finally write it all out.

I have accepted that I don’t cook every meal.  We eat out more frequently and I don’t make all of Dane’s lunches anymore.  I do not struggle with identity in this area, but I do struggle with finding ways to serve my family.  As a housewife, this is definitely big.

I have accepted the fact that it would be best for Caleb to enroll in a Mother’s Day Out Program once or twice a week.  This is to keep me sane for appointments and to help serve my family.  I don’t need time away from him, but I think it would really help if he was physically out of the house for awhile.  And, as my previous post states, it would be a dream come true for him.  I’m still nervous about letting go, but Dane is helping me through this one.

I have accepted the idea of a messy house 80% of the week.  I just have two kids, y’all.  Why am I not able to keep the house clean?  My husband’s work clothes washed?  I think it would be much easier if it was just a small change for me.  With just one kiddo and my Type A minus personality the house was pretty much always in a nice state.  Maybe if it was just one room that was a disaster all of the time I would have accepted it faster, but it’s not.  It’s. the. entire. house. all. the. time.  I have a sick kid.  I have a toddler who really enjoys playing with all of his toys.  And we are gone about 50% of the time to appointments.  And the other half I’m playing with my kids, working on my business, or just plain exhausted.

I have accepted the Lord’s help in all of this.  I don’t think I have ever prayed more in my entire life.  When you are neck deep in ministry, there’s just no other way.  I am accepting His grace, daily, for taking so long to come around to these things.

And I am accepting the fact that my family and I will continue to ‘sacrifice’ for our foster kids.

Because Jesus did for us.

2 comments on “acceptance

  1. Natalie Bryan says:

    The house can be picked up any time, your family is getting fed (whether by eating out or home-cooked meals), and their needs are being met. You are doing GREAT, and the eternal impact you’re having on T and C’s lives is worth more than anything. Love you!

  2. mom henson says:

    Good to hear what’s on your heart, spelled out this way. Praying for you! If we lived in the same town……………

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