I have finally accepted our ministry.
It only took me 4 months. My friend, Lauren C, reminded me that God is long suffering, patient, slow to anger, slow to wrath, etc. I know this myself because I do not feel guilty for just now realizing my place in my home, again. And I know there are many people who would say, “Well, yeah, I’ve been telling you all along!”, but until the Lord turns my heart and I feel at peace with everything it doesn’t settle within me. And it’s why I’m able to finally write it all out.
I have accepted that I don’t cook every meal. We eat out more frequently and I don’t make all of Dane’s lunches anymore. I do not struggle with identity in this area, but I do struggle with finding ways to serve my family. As a housewife, this is definitely big.
I have accepted the fact that it would be best for Caleb to enroll in a Mother’s Day Out Program once or twice a week. This is to keep me sane for appointments and to help serve my family. I don’t need time away from him, but I think it would really help if he was physically out of the house for awhile. And, as my previous post states, it would be a dream come true for him. I’m still nervous about letting go, but Dane is helping me through this one.
I have accepted the idea of a messy house 80% of the week. I just have two kids, y’all. Why am I not able to keep the house clean? My husband’s work clothes washed? I think it would be much easier if it was just a small change for me. With just one kiddo and my Type A minus personality the house was pretty much always in a nice state. Maybe if it was just one room that was a disaster all of the time I would have accepted it faster, but it’s not. It’s. the. entire. house. all. the. time. I have a sick kid. I have a toddler who really enjoys playing with all of his toys. And we are gone about 50% of the time to appointments. And the other half I’m playing with my kids, working on my business, or just plain exhausted.
I have accepted the Lord’s help in all of this. I don’t think I have ever prayed more in my entire life. When you are neck deep in ministry, there’s just no other way. I am accepting His grace, daily, for taking so long to come around to these things.
And I am accepting the fact that my family and I will continue to ‘sacrifice’ for our foster kids.
Because Jesus did for us.