getting back up

i think we have found our new ‘normal’ around here.

we have known our littlest for a month now and we are officially settled.

life with two kids plus a chronic illness is quite challenging some days.

there’s been a lot more of this…

but also a lot of this…

(*insert super cute photo of my Big holding my Little.  i mean, super cute*)

there’s also been school planning (starting in 3 weeks!)…

and lots and lots of time with friends who have been the hands and feet of Jesus by helping me so much!

there hasn’t been a whole bunch of house cleaning or special time with my husband.

and for that, i’m learning to have grace.

honestly, my energy is running out.  there hasn’t been much diversity in our days.

hopefully there will be a day soon when i will not have to make a choice.

the same choice i make each day when i come to the same crossroad.

i hope it comes naturally to me and i will not waiver.

do i slow down, sit down, quit?

or do i keep running?

do i keep washing the same (same!) 15 dishes everyday?

and the same clothes?  and diapers?

do i continue to work to connect with my 2 year old?

and discipline instead of fighting?

do i dig deeper in the Word even when i only have a few minutes?

and pray and cry out to Abba, my Father?

do i make an effort to play, talk, and sing with my kids?

planning activities, getting outside, looking them in the eye,

LOVING them.

yes

yes yes

yes yes YES.

right now, that Yes isn’t natural.

it doesn’t come quickly.

and not at all some days.

my heart, initially, is No.

even after prayer and meditating on Scripture.

but the Lord is growing and changing me.

it sucks.

it hurts.

and when i quit

(because i have!)

the Holy Spirit is there telling me to

get back up.

Thank you, Lord, for your Helper.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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